February 18, 2011
"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.” ~ Joseph Campbell
"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.” ~ Joseph Campbell
All right. This quote grabbed me today, amongst all the quotes, affirmations and stories that crossed my path. Not sure completely why. But I decided to hold it for awhile. Hmm, I always say I'm ready to surrender to life. To let go of my attachments to outcomes. But always, always lurking just out of mental reach is fear. Fear of surrender. The what ifs, right?! My back-up plans have to have back-up plans!
But over the past few years I've untangled the messy, twisted neural network of thoughts and feelings that has kept me blocked my entire life. My childhood wounds and consequent childhood adaptations created habits of thought that became so entrenched that my adult life was never my own. That is sobering. To fully grasp that I have made decisions that have been based on keeping me from the vulnerability of expressing my truest self. Really hard to face. I have worked through a significant amount of grief to heal what I have lost all these years. Some days are better than others in terms of acceptance. So I guess when I look at that quote and consciously reflect on my fears of surrendering the life I've planned...I'm okay with the 'what ifs'. The unknown.
That old skin that I've begun to shed wasn't really me anyways now was it. No. But the open, honest, "let's be real" person writing this blog is me. Spontaneous, loving, accepting? Yep, that is me too. Admittedly, it is strange, um uncomfortable, to describe myself in positive terms. Feels good though.
Is it a process? I guess so. I've shed the old skin but I haven't completely surrendered control of the life I've planned. I am well on the way...I think. But not there. At least I don't feel fear of the 'what ifs'. Baby steps.
Is it a process? I guess so. I've shed the old skin but I haven't completely surrendered control of the life I've planned. I am well on the way...I think. But not there. At least I don't feel fear of the 'what ifs'. Baby steps.
Mary, this post really hits home with me. Love the quote, I'm going to save that one. "The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come"... so true yet such a challenge. I feel though I'm about halfway there and I've stalled, right there in the middle. I have no idea how long it will take to completely shed my old skin. Then again, there are parts of the old me that will probably remain throughout my life span. Like you, I'm getting there, little by little, those tiny baby steps. You explained it so well. Great post!
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